I was talking with a pastor this week and asked him what motivated him. It was clear he wants to be loved and accepted for his work in the kingdom. Being liked really motivates him.
Others are motivated by being right or being in control.
There are weaknesses to both sides. Overemphasizing love can lead to dishonesty. Those who want to be loved at all costs tend to try to make conflict go away. They can be passive or evasive. They may surrender themselves or even surrender the truth.
But being in control has a flat side, too. It can mean controlling a conflict at all costs, sacrificing relationships and forcing what you understand to be the truth. These people tend to believe that conflict is about power. Thus, it is an opportunity to see who is the strongest or who is in control.
But what does it mean to look at how I am wired, and honestly ask, “In this specific incident, how do I count others better than myself?” Because that’s what the Words says I am supposed to do, regardless of what kind of personality I have.