I am teaching a class on emotionally healthy relationships this winter. Prepping for one of my classes, I remembered an assessment I took about 5 years ago by Jim Van Yperen, a church-conflict specialist. It's simply called Conflict Style Assessment. It's an inexpensive, self-paced guide to identifying and correcting your negative habits of handling conflict.Continue reading "What is your conflict style?"

Galatians 5:16-17 in the New Living Translation perfectly describes the struggle we face every single day: 16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the SpiritContinue reading "Cause the fruit of your Spirit to keep ripening in my life, Lord"

After Reading Ruth Everhart’s 2016 “Ruined,” the powerful, painful memoir of her rape at gunpoint when she was a college student, I was touched by her courage to go on with her life. That compelled me to invite Ruth to Champaign-Urbana, IL, to speak to pastors and leaders about sexual abuse – abuse we nowContinue reading "Author nails it with — The #MeToo Reckoning (Facing the Church’s Complicity in Sexual Abuse And Misconduct)"

More than 4 decades of marriage have taught me 8 “secrets” that might just give you a leg up this Valentine’s Day. Of course, you’ll have to do your own hard work, just like I still have to do mine, but I promise you it will be well worth it. The “one-minute” secret starts itContinue reading "8 “Secrets” to get you way beyond Valentine’s Day"

Thousands have gathered in recent days to remember one of the great horrors of history and the liberation of the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz. When I was a sophomore in high school I read a book about Auschwitz and learned about the holocaust and the World War II genocide of European Jews. I stillContinue reading "Remembering Auschwitz at 75"

Trying to read someone's mind does not work. I've tried it many times without much success. Talking face to face with someone and clarifying expectations does work most of the time, but it's work and takes intentionality. Still, it is always good to try and figure out what expectations are valid and which ones aren't.Continue reading "Clarifying expectations works, to a degree"