Late last summer I drove about 900 miles west to where I was born and raised in northwestern Kansas. One a hot August day I headed west on Interstate 70. At Grainfield, Kansas, I turned north on State Highway 23 and drove 15 miles north into Hoxie.

I was born in Hoxie and spent my first 10-and-a-half years in the little rural town of 1200. My Grandpa and Grandma Follis lived a block from our house, and 10 miles north out in the country lived my mom’s parents, my Grandpa and Grandma Jennings.

Late May of 2009 was the last time I had been in Hoxie. In 2009 I joined my mom, my brothers and my sisters as we laid my dad to rest in the cemetery on the north side of town.

When I pulled into Hoxie this time, I recognized it, but in some ways it felt like I had never been there before.

My dad passed at 81, and he is buried alongside my Grandpa and Grandma Follis. My mom will laid to rest beside my dad.

Many can instantly recite the two greatest commandments of all. In simplest terms they are: “Love God and love others.” The challenge comes in implementing them in my life. I realize, often unwittingly, that I often leave out the last part of the second greatest commandent: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

Can we love others well, if we don’t love ourselves well? Well, probably not. And yet, I’ll tell you a little secret. After spending the last 10 years counseling and mentoring pastors, many pastors and church leaders struggle with self-hatred. More pastors than you know don’t feel good enough to be the kind of pastor they hope to be. Now put that up against the commandment to truly love yourself, and you’ll start understanding the struggle. And boy is it a struggle!

So how is it that any of us is supposed to love ourselves well, to truly be self-aware and to give ourselves the kind of self-care we need?

The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) pretty much summarizes the teaching of Jesus.

It begins with 3 striking thoughts:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Here is one of the constant warnings the Apostle Paul always seemed to hammer home to the early churches: “Do not think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourself. Let God change you inwardly, by showing you who you really are.” Romans 12:2