Author Archives: Don Follis

If:… You do things in a fair, even-handed way (I Corinthians 14:40)… You treat people with respect (Matthew 7:12)… You come to a solution that is fair and just (Micah 6:8)Here’s what may happen:* You will be surprised at how satisfied people are even if they disagree with the heart of your decision.  * YouContinueContinue reading “People will disagree with you … But…”

Young Funeral director and excellent writer Caleb Wilde always makes me think, as he does today with this graphic from a recent tweet…Today’s thoughtful essay on his blog (Confessions of a funeral Director) is about how his grandfather, still a working funeral director, has such a strong ability to bring comfort to people during timesContinueContinue reading “Making friends with those experiencing loss…”

Here’s my religion column in today’s Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette on having a life verse, something Bill Hybels, Senior Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, strongly promotes.   

In Let Your Life Speak, Parker Palmer writes about what it means to just be present for people, especially when they are not asking to be fixed, not asking for our advice …He writes:One of the hardest things we must do sometimes is to be present to another person’s pain without trying to “fix” it,ContinueContinue reading “You might speak your loudest with total silence…”

One of my favorite bloggers — blogger Amy — really gets how I often feel…”We, as believers in both truth and grace, are called to be messy middlers of the faith!So for me, The Messy Middle is where we hold truth and grace in tension, knowing some will be more drawn to one side or the other. We, asContinueContinue reading “Holding grace and truth in tension…”

True peace, that almost anyone I have ever spoken with wants, is 3-fold:First, there is peace with God: Rom. 5:1 “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”Second, there is peace with others: 1 Thess. 5:13 “Live in peace with each other.”Third, there is peaceContinueContinue reading “True peace that passes understanding…”

I talked with a pastor recently who I think had practically no awareness of his need for change.  He talked in circles.  When I talk with people, I try to discern if the person is aware of the need for change.  Have they truly drilled down to the core issues?  Frankly, how can you changeContinueContinue reading “Want to change? … Then get awareness, be intentional, make a plan”

I read about a woman who said: “I’m single and I live alone, but I’m in an abusive relationship.”Meaning, with herself, right?I’m afraid that I do understand what that woman is saying, truth be told.For me, that brings up two important questions: How do I talk to myself? and “How do I treat myself?Writer HeatherContinueContinue reading “What to do with that voice in our head…”