I talked with a pastor recently who I think had practically no awareness of his need for change. He talked in circles.
When I talk with people, I try to discern if the person is aware of the need for change. Have they truly drilled down to the core issues? Frankly, how can you change if you aren’t aware of your need to do so?
But more than that, once you are aware of your need for change, you have to be intentional about what you do next. Are you truly ready to make a change? It’s step 6 in the 12-step program. … “I am entirely ready to have God remove the defects in my character.”
If so, then that leads to a plan. Have you tried to think through it? That’s why I like step 8 so much in the 12-step program: “Made a list of all the persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” It rarely works if you just shoot from the hip, hoping the plan will somehow appear and all your sins, hurts and misunderstandings against others will somewhat magically take care of themselves. I’ve never seen that kind of “magic” somehow just happen.