Confession killers

Yes, confession is good for the soul!

I heard a man in a church who had really hurt someone try to confess his sin with these words:

“I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.”

That sounds like an apology to get someone off your back. Let me tell you, if you don’t really apologize, it’s only a matter of time until you hurt the person again.

How about this apology: “It wasn’t intentional.”

There’s an apology from a person who may not have intentionally started off trying to hurt you, but he wasn’t making much of an effort not to hurt you either.

Or these words of “confession”: “It wasn’t personal.”  Huh? That’s like saying, “It wasn’t personal to me so you shouldn’t take it personally either, even though I am sure it really hurt you.”

When you own your stuff and truly make an honest confession it involves what author Ken Sande calls the 7 A’s of confession:

  1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
  2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse or diminish the effect of your wrongs)
  3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
  4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
  5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
  6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
  7. Ask for forgiveness

You might not have to go through all 7 every time you confess a sin, but the point is, the more thoughtful and sincerely you confess, the more likely it is your confession will promote forgiveness and reconciliation.

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