What to say when you don’t know what to say…

Just_listenTwo things if you want to be truly pastoral:

1.  Someone tells you something incredibly sad or confusing or hurtful or whatever.  Try saying, “I just don’t know what to say. I am so sorry.”

It’s the truth.  It’s honest and it’s heartfelt.  You aren’t trying to fix anything.

2.  Say, “I just don’t know what you are going through. I can only imagine.”  I often say that, and am usually surprised at how the person accepts those words as caring and as an invitation to keep talking.”

Remember friends, a person who feels heard — not judged, not fixed — feels loved.

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