I like wedding planners well enough, but that’s not what I am…

I have officiated at lots and lots of weddings.  Most are not hard to do, although I have had my moments.  These days, I often get to work with a wedding planner, whose job is to make sure that everything goes smoothly and pleases everyone.

I’ve watched wedding planners navigate the roads between the bride’s family and the groom’s family.  Even the gifted wedding planners, doing their best to please everyone, still occasionally hit walls. Mostly, however, they succeed, making everyone happy, especially the bride and her mother.  Good for them!  That’s their job.

That’s not my job.  As coach Val Hastings says,  the job of a good faith-based coach is to provide spiritual direction, not to make people happy.  I agree, although I often do see contentment come over many with whom I meet.  

But not always.  Just the other day I asked a pastor what I thought was a pretty simple question (a real softball question, to be frank):  “What do you think your main options are?”

“Main options?”  he asked, bristling a bit.  “I have no idea.  To be honest with you, that question itself makes me feel a little angry and uptight.  Main options?  What do you think they are?”

“Well, I am not in your shoes.  Come on now.  Just ponder it for a moment.  Stay focused.  I bet you can find some options.”

He sat their frowning.  Finally he came up with two good options, although both would take him out of his comfort zone.  “I’m not happy about either one of these, but I know I have to choose one. I realize choosing either of them could lead to the kind of change I know I’m looking for.”

Hey, I thought to myself, now we’re getting somewhere!


So, apologies to any wedding planners, by my goals include vision casting, people development, course correction, forward movement … helping people get off the dime, stirring people to action, helping them change course and move in a direction that will lead to real, permanent change.

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