One early December day when I was 8, I was hanging out at my Dad’s office after school. It wasn’t long before my squirrely behavior kept him from doing his work. He finally stood up from his desk chair, reached into his pocket, and handed me a few coins.
“Go next door and see if you can find a Christmas present for Mom.” I put a tight fist
around those coins and sprinted next door to the “Ben Franklin 5-10.” I wandered up and down the aisles, mostly looking at all the toys. Finally a black iron napkin holder caught my eye. The price tag said, “$.25. When I handed the napkin holder and my coins to the shopkeeper, he counted them and said, “Hmm. Well, that will be enough.” He put the napkin holder in a brown paper bag, and said “Merry Christmas!” When I bolted back into Dad’s office and showed him he said, “Perfect. Just what Mom needs.”
As soon as I got home I hid the brown sack under my bed. After supper, my older sister—who was 10—and I went in my room and shut the door. I needed her wrapping expertise. With wrapping paper, tape and scissors, we wrapped the napkin holder, fighting over how to best wrap the awkward thing. When we finished, it looked like a bunch of Christmas wrapping you had just thrown in the trash.
Still, I carried Mom’s present into the living room and slid it under our white artificial tree with red satin bulbs. It was the first present. Beside the tree was a spotlight pointed at the tree. In the evening we plugged it in and turned off the other lights. I stood there for a long time feeling proud of myself.
When I woke up the next morning and went to check on the present, my older sister was already there, holding it and trying to improve the wrapping. I quickly grabbed that wrapped present out of her hand, but my hand went through the paper and straight down into the middle of the napkin holder. My sister tried to grab it back, and it dropped to the floor. I burst into tears. Mom ran into the room. Wailing, I handed her the napkin holder with Christmas wrapping still dangling to it from the scotch tape. My sister said, “I was just trying to help.”
Poor Mom stayed calm but didn’t miss a beat. She hugged and comforted me until I calmed down. She didn’t blame my sister. After hugging me and letting me cry it out, Mom said, “Hmm.. You know what, honey? This is a perfect gift for right now. Let’s make it my first Christmas present. We’ll put it on the table this morning. It’s perfect. I’ve been wondering where we would put our Christmas napkins, and now I know.”
Now there’s a Mom thinking quickly on her feet. And that’s what we did. For the rest of the days leading up to Christmas, Mom sat that flimsy black-metal napkin holder in the middle of the table, filled it with red and green paper napkins and mentioned it repeatedly: “Isn’t it just perfect what Don gave me? It looks so good with our red and napkins. It’s so Christmassy. I couldn’t have picked out a better gift myself.”
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When our children Ian and Maddie were young, our family was part of a church that made a big deal of Advent, celebrated during the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas. I didn’t grow up in a church that celebrated Advent. A leader in our church named Barbara Linder spent loads of time during those formative years planning the 4 Advent Services leading up to Christmas and teaching young parents about the importance and meaning of Advent. I was a sponge. It’s been 30 now. But to this day I owe her a big debt of gratitude. “Thank you, Barbara!”
Barbara came up with all kinds of great ideas for how families could teach their kids the meaning of Advent and how to celebrate it in simple ways. It wasn’t long before we were celebrating our own Advent traditions. Even now nearly 30 Advent books have their own section on my bookshelves. I’ve bought 2 new Advent books in the last 2 weeks!
During those years at dinner-time, we read an Advent verse from the Bible, lighted the Advent candles, and sang a verse from “O Come, O Come Emmanuel,” while the kids did an Advent dance we learned at church.
Most evenings Ian and Maddie asked, “What’s our Advent gift today, Daddy?”
“Oh, there’s not one today,” I answered, giving them a wry smile.
“Yes, there is,” they answered. “Where is it?” They knew better. Sometimes it was in my pocket. Other times it was inside one of our kitchen pans or hidden under once of the cushions on the couch.
One year when daughter Maddie was in college at an out-of-state university I sent her a different Advent gift nearly every day following the Thanksgiving break. She’d call me every evening, and say, “Got another Advent gift today.” On one call she said, “Ah, Dad, I’m not so sure about the Fighting Illini white mittens.” (We lived just 3 miles from the University of Illinois).
Today my 30-something daughter incorporates some of the traditions from when she was young. She and husband Drew hav e started some of her own with their 3 daughters. That’s as it should be.
So how about it? Get your Advent Candles out, or buy them here; make an Advent wreath; find some Advent Readings for each day and read up about Advent on Wikipedia. Start looking some little Advent gifts you can have fun giving to your spouse, your children or someone you love. They don’t have to be corny, but many of mine were. Who cares? Give yourself to it. Have some fun and some good laughs. Don’t be Ebenezer Scrooge. Tis the season make merry!
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And yes dear friends, you can indeed buy the black iron napkin hold I linked to above. Here it is! How about it? Isn’t she a beauty? $6.49 and that black metal napkin holder is yours! Be sure to go to Dollar General and buy some red and green napkins to go with it. And be darned careful wrapping that thing!
donfollis.com 