When I lived in Champaign-Urbana for 43 years I attended lots of Illini sporting events, but I never was close with any of the head coaches. That is, until 2012, when I became friends with Coach Matt Bollant, who came from the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay to head the Illini women’s basketball program. Bollant and I met at church and quickly started having lunch every month. In 2017 Bollant left Illinois with a record of 22-62 and now leads the Lady Panthers basketball program at Eastern Illinois University in Charleston. With a 53-57 record, last year his Lady Panthers were second in the Ohio Valley Conference. Bollant seems right at home on the Eastern campus. After moving to Charleston where he and his wife Kari finished raising their two daughters, the Bollants adopted 3 pre-teen Peruvian sisters.
While I think Bollant is a pretty good coach—and the smaller Eastern Illinois seems to fit him well—what I came to admire most about him is his spirt of gratitude. When we met for lunch every month I’d ask, “How are you doing, Coach?”
“Grateful,” he would answer, often high fiving me. “I am so grateful for today.” One day I said, “Coach, you are always grateful—for our lunch, for the pretty day, for your wife and daughters, for the girls on your team. You use the word grateful a lot. What’s up with that?”
He took a breath, grabbed his cell phone and pulled up a picture of a headstone that read: “Daniel David Bollant, twin of Matthew, March 13, 1971-March 16, 1971.” Bollant’s twin brother Daniel died 3 days after the two were born. “Daniel never got the chance I’ve gotten in life. I never got to know him. It’s a great mystery to me. Somewhere along the way I decided I will live every day of my life to the fullest–in honor of Daniel. That starts with gratitude. Whether my teams win or lose, and there has been a lot of both, especially here at Illinois, I start each day thanking God for waking me up and giving me another day. I need other people, and they need me.” Again this summer, Bollant returned to his Minnesota childhood home and posted a picture on Facebook of his brother’s headstone.
Bollant knows what we all need to learn. Each day we all participate in this great mystery called life. In life, no one is an island. We all need each other way more than we think, Bollant told me. St. Benedict learned that centuries ago. In his morning prayer St. Benedict always acknowledged his contingent nature. In so many ways, our lives depend on the actions of others. Just last week an unknown driver on the packed freeway of Metro Phoenix saw before I did that I was about to be cut off, or worse. He quickly slowed, causing the driver behind him to blare his horn at him, while he made room for me to change lanes and go in front of him. I raised my hand in thanks, feeling humbled that the driver saw what I didn’t see.
Coach Bollant and I have not stayed in touch the last 6 years, but watching the sun rise today, I thought of his strong heart of gratitude for life. Suddenly I felt deep grateful as I watched the new unfold and considered the vast reaches of the cosmos, pondering the numberless stories of each life and the incomprehensible forces at work in each moment. I said good morning to my neighbor, and thought of the innumerable stories of his life and the countless forgotten ancestors who preceded him. I picked up my paper and thought of the incalculable stories of those in my family line who preceded me. Like my fellow humans, I am enveloped in an unbounded network of friendships, affiliations and relationships.
When I waved to the driver who watched out for me, I prayed, “Lord, help me to treat other people like that.” And so today I humble myself and, like Coach Bollant, give thanks for each hour and each moment, saying, “This day is a gift. I will rejoice and be glad.”
donfollis.com 