My discernment; God’s call…

When I am trying to help a person discern what he really wants, I want him to sit quietly for a minute in the presence of God and ask, “What do I want, right this minute?”

If the person can recognize it, I ask him to jot it down.

Then I ask him to look at what he wrote and to ask again:  “What do I want, right this minute?”

Continuing, I might say, “Now, let me ask you, without judging yourself, ‘Is there something underneath that desire? Is there something even more basic going on?'”

Sometimes I discover a very deep desire, one that is central to who he is.

… “God, I just want to be accepted for who I am.”  Or perhaps, “I want people to like me.”  Maybe, “God, I’m just trying to prove that I’m good enough to be a pastor.”  One pastor said to me recently,  “I really just want people to follow me.”  I then asked to him, “Are you willing to offer that desire to God, too?”

One thing I notice is that as I seek my deepest hopes, I am aware that I am a bundle of conflicting desires.  Oh my goodness, am I…

But I figure God knows that, too.  And if I quiet myself for a minute, I sometimes have the courage to ask, “God, to what are you calling me through this decision I am facing?”

I am learning, slower than I’d like, that God has created all that is, and even still is creating me, just as I am.  Moreover, my good Father, who loves me, desires that I become my truest, most authentic self.  For in the end, that is all that truly matters…

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