How do you know if you’ve truly forgiven someone?

 
Essentially, you say four things when you truly forgive someone, including yourself, maybe especially yourself. 

“I will not dwell on this incident.”
“I will not bring up this incident again and again, using it against you.”
“I will not repeatedly talk to others about this incident.”
“I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

Do you really want to tear down the wall that stands between you and your offender?  Well, ponder over and over those four declarations.

Is is tempting to break those promises?  What do you think?  Of course it is.  We’re in a fight, brothers and sisters.  That’s why writer Ken Sande says that in the entire universe there is but one source of durable forgiveness:
The Cross of Jesus!
“Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness,” says Hebrews 9:22

If we really want forgiveness to stick, we have to stick to the cross. So what are you going to do when you feel what you thought was a long ago buried hatchet now once again rising to the surface?

I hope you will dwell on Hebrews 9:22 and on Jesus’ forgiveness of your own sin.

The more real that becomes for you, the less real temptations toward unforgiveness will be.

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