Pastors and their friends

Friends I was discussing with some pastors the topic of friendships.  Many pastors have a best friend who is not part of their congregation. 

For example:  "My good friend is another pastor in a different state.  I love my parishioners here, but I don't go on vacations with them."

On the other hand, I happen to know a pastor who does in fact go on vacation with good friends from his church.  I'd say that is certainly an exception, though.  Wouldn't you?

Point is, I don't hear pastors say very often, "I'd like you to meet Joe.  Joe heads up our men's ministry at the church.  He's my best friend.  We have breakfast every Tuesday morning."

So what do you think?  Can pastors have very good friends within the church they pastor?  Can you effectively pastor your best friends?

2 thoughts on “Pastors and their friends

  1. I am not a pastor but happen to be "friends" with three. Yes, one of those is the pastor of my own church. I think it is hard on both sides of relationships with pastors and their congregation. Pastors think they are held to a higher level and yes some do hold them there and on the other side folks in the seats alter their thoughts and behaviors when the Pastor is around so its hard to know who your really being friends with the person or their representative. Pastors are people, just like everyone else and they need friends.


  2. Not sure how I would answer this if I were the senior pastor, but as the small group pastor, I would say I do have good friends that I hang out with that are in the church. I do think though it's good to have an accountability partner and "lightning rod" (as Wayne Cordeiro describes it) who is outside the church.


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