St. Augustine admited that his self-image as a seeker after spiritual truth was not match by his indulgent life style.
Augustine and his friends fancied themselves on an untiring search for truth. But he wrote:
"It never occurred to us to stop doing the things that contradicted our search for truth or that a connection might exist between our present lifestyle and the fact that the truly good life that we said we wanted never actually seemed to arrive. … I fled from the truth even while I claimed to be seeking it. I simply did not see that my intellectual problems were really moral problems in disguise." (The Confessions of St. Augustine, retold by David Winter)
In a man’s struggle to give himself totally to Jesus, being honest with his real motives is so hard. Are we willing to let Jesus really looking deeply into what motivates us?